Hidden racial bias in the form of Microaggressions

Let's talk about one of the most common struggles in the black community

Hi guys, so you'll probably notice that the blog is undergoing some refurbishing. We're just trying out different sites and seeing what works best. This means the link to the blog might not be consistent for the next half of the year but we hope to get it done much sooner. Let us know what you guys prefer. Bye.

microaggression

/mʌɪkrəʊəˈɡrɛʃ(ə)n/

noun

a statement, action, or incident regarded as an instance of indirect, subtle, or unintentional discrimination against members of a marginalized group such as a racial or ethnic minority

Sometimes, I think growing up in a place with a very little amount of people that are a different race than you, really twists ones understanding of racism. In the way that, when you don’t have to deal with it, you don’t NEED to understand the full extent to which it occurs. Growing up Nigerian, a black populated country, the closest most people get to learning about racism is by experiencing colourism. Often times, most people don’t even know that they have experienced colourism until they just happen to find out or get educated. The truth is, I never really got concerned about racism until I came to school abroad. This is why the first time I heard about microaggressions (which was quite recently actually. I’d say about a year ago), I was taken aback and a few things began to make sense.

If you’re not properly educated on racism, you experience it and think it’s OK. I think this is common for a lot of Nigerian people because they have been poorly educated on just how much we were affected as well. If my parents and the people around us, had not decided to properly educate us on the history of colonization, who knows how ignorant I might have been. I have had conversations with many people who believe that only the African men and women that were taken away to be slaves, were oppressed. Many people do not realize that the colonizers took people away but also stayed back to control African people IN AFRICA. Why do you think there are so many white people in South Africa? How exactly do you think religion and technology got to these places? I constantly have to tell my African friends; “you’re the victim too.” That’s why it’s not okay for anyone to call you the N-word. That’s why it’s not “just a word” and you just cannot let your friends of any other race say it around you. You cannot be scared to offend the people who oppressed us and continue to find ways to oppress us. You owe it to yourself and your ancestors to demand respect and hold people around you accountable for the way they treat or mistreat you. If you will not do it for yourself, do it on behalf of the next person that would be subjected to the hate you let that bigot get away with.

Having been fortunate enough to possess the resources to be educated on this topic, I try to lecture my brothers and sisters from similar backgrounds as to why they should even care about racism. Something almost everyone of them hardly ever even understand however, is microaggressions. A lot of them do not even know that they have gone through it. It's kind of similar to the way a person might not even know that they have been sexually assaulted until someone else tells them. According to Oprah Mag,

A microaggression is a comment or gesture (whether made intentionally or not) that feeds into stereotypes or negative assumptions created around oppressed or marginalized groups of people. The term was first used in the 1970s by Harvard's Chester M. Pierce, MD. They tend to be based on a person’s race, ethnicity, religion, gender, sexual orientation, or disability—and to the recipient, can feel like an attack.

As the name implies, microaggressions might be harder to spot. However, I can only speak as a member of the black community and probably will never have a full idea of what people of other minorities go through. Racially, they are those situations that make you think “I’m not sure this is racist, but I don’t feel okay about it being said.” Contrary to popular belief, microaggressions happen across every minority and the people who say and do these things might not know that they’re doing it. An instance I can recall was when; I had gone out one night with a few friends and I met this girl. We were walking and just talking to each other and she asked where I was from. I told her I was from Nigeria and I was basically just here for Uni, then she said “You’re from Nigeria? Wow, your English is so good.” I asked her, “why wouldn’t it be?” and she went dead silent. I continued, “English is the official language of Nigeria” and I walked off to join my other friends. To her, she was paying me a compliment but the underlying tone in that statement was that, she really did not EXPECT someone from there to be as competent as she thought she was. She sent a message to me, whether she knew it or not, that she did not expect to see someone of my background, possess as high of a level of articulation (which is basic grammar apparently) as I appeared to have.

An example of a micro aggression that isn’t related to race is telling a disabled person, “The way you’ve overcome your disability is inspiring” or expressing surprise when a disabled person is perfectly able to do what an able bodied person is. Being disabled does not equate to being useless. Another example is when a plus size person posts a picture or video of the simply existing, and you comment “I love your confidence”, confidence to do what? Not look like the beauty standard and still love themselves? It’s OK to be quiet sometimes.

Other examples of racial microaggressions include:

• A White man or woman clutching their purse or checking their wallet as a Black or Latino approaches or passes.

• A store owner following a customer of color around the store.

• A White person who waits to ride the next elevator when a person of color is on it.

• “I’m not a racist. I have several black friends.”

• “As a woman, I know what you go through as a racial minority.” (this one grinds my bones)

• Mistaking a person of color as a lower income service worker.

A few of these examples were taken from an excellent table I found from a study. The table/chart fully encompasses every aspect of racial microaggressions. Click here to view.

People who say these things might try to gaslight you and make you feel like your concerns are invalid with statements like: “why do we always have to make everything about race?”, “People can’t take a joke these days”, “I’m literally complimenting you.” to make you rethink your stance and make you feel foolish for even being offended in the first place. Don’t let them fool you into accepting their behavior. My response is usually along the lines of “I can take a joke, I won’t however take disrespect disguised as a joke” and that usually ends things.

Other things I’ve heard in the past year and a half, that I can’t really decide if they are microaggressions, but they definitely feel like it are:

1. “I don’t think black girls should be wearing blush. It’s so unnatural” Yes, because we apply makeup to look natural.

2. “You’re really pretty for a dark skin girl” I get this a lot. It’s NOT a compliment.

3. “I don’t have anything against black guys but I just personally would never marry one”

4. “He’s not colorist, he just prefers white girls and light skins” If you have a “preference” based solely on skin tone, sorry to break it to you but you’re colorist.

5. She’s a person of color, so she can say the N- word right? Wrong. First of all, “person of color” is not synonymous with black and I wouldn’t necessarily identify as a person of color instead of identifying as black. And you absolutely cannot say the N word if you are not black.

People will also tell you to “educate” these people instead of getting defensive, but it’s 2020. If these people are uneducated, it’s because they want to be. There are various resources, articles, studies and educative content put in place to educate people about racial bias. Why should you have to devote your entire life to “teaching” people to treat you like a human being? People of color and black people are frequently forced to teach white people (and often times, other people of color) about things the person of color has dealt with and has been learning about for their entire lives. That can be really physically and emotionally draining for an individual to then have to think about the emotions of the uneducated person and take the extra steps to teach them what they could — and should — have learned in their lifetime. All in all, if you do choose to educate someone on this topic

• Please do your research

• Set realistic expectations of how the discussion could typically go

• Most importantly, consider your mental health and deduce if you can actually handle any possible way that conversation goes.

• If it does get too much for you, provide the person with resources to properly educate themselves. If they decide not to, that’s not on you anymore. Please just remember that YOU are the victim in the situation and you’re under no obligation to teach people basic empathy.

In the wake of recent events, I felt the need to educate a few of you. No matter how little information you retain. This is just me reminding you that ALL black lives matter and will always matter. I have linked a MASSIVE thread of BlackLivesMatter petitions here. I believe there are also a lot of other petitions and donation funds, so please check it out.

Thank you so much for reading and I truly hope you liked it and I hope I taught a few people something.

Until next time lovelies.